RGS, D.B.: Mememaster-General Horatio Eden delivered his State of the Union earlier today, discussing the government’s plans for the economy and foreign policy.
“At the end of the day, it’s all about results,” Eden remarked, “and frankly we haven’t really had any so far.” He then realised this would be a disaster for his poll ratings, and said “I mean, it’s Congress’ fault, uh…” before mumbling something indeterminable and moving swiftly along.
“Our foreign policy has been a success as of late, with a number of new micronations now recognizing us. The… indiscretion on the part of the Democratic Republic of Belia is most assuredly in the past, with the question of the United Micronations rendered mostly irrelevant by the UM’s lack of activity, and that’s not really a good thing too, is it?” He then turned to one of his advisers, who motioned to a graph on a smartphone detailing his poll numbers, at which the Mememaster-General looked shocked and attempted to un-derail his speech.
“In light of the fact I’m simply too lazy to wait a month, I will be organising a snap election for later in January,” he remarked. This came as a surprise to his advisers, who gestured wildly with their hands shaking their heads. “Hopefully the populace will see that we, the Party Party of Whestcorea, are the only choice in this election, because we basically literally are the only choice in this election.”
The snap election has not been given a date, but will be held later this month if the speech is to be believed.
Whestcorean Times 